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Ask Pete his views on anything footy, be warned! he doesn't pull any punches!	Today's problem for Pete, was sent in by Harry from Sandbanks... Dear Pete, Well, a year seems a long time, but here I am back in the Prem with my old club. Boy, can you believe how gullible their Chairman is to let me back here? Anyways, I pulled a stroke at the shithole I was in, got a few bets in here and there, then walked. I was only unemployed for about a week, when that idiot Serb took me back! Mind you, we both made a killing on Betfair. Anyway, I thought the last team I had at that scummy hole was bad, but this lot?? Anyway, some poor unsuspecting Russkie turns up and slaps £12M on the desk for me to spend during the Jan TW. I managed to spend about 5 bob on players, but those agents don't half have some commission. Mandy and Gaydo still think I'm the dog's, although I think that Russian is a bit more clued up, but who cares, after the end of this season I'll probably be off, and a nice earner it will have been. I do have a small dilemma, when I got back here, I stupidly made the same mistake as I did at scumpton. I told the press that the squad at Pompey was worse than Sunderland, awful, only problem is, the squad I now have is worse that Dagenham & Redbridge. Luckily for me, my old press buddies are on my side, but there's a few fans here who aren't as stupid as I thought, and they are starting to make things tough for me with this Judanista movement. How should I handle them Pete? I really want to see this little earner through, and squeeze out maybe another season or at least get a contract for that, maybe more, so I can get sacked and walk away with a cushty little wedge. Problem is these Judanistas might just make that Russkie bastard think a bit harder, and, if my dinny old mate Mad Mandy leaves, I reckon I'll be on the dole. Hope you can help, if not, there is always Bournemouth, my spiritual home, foreshore. Yours Harry R. Poole, Dorset. KEEP POPPING BACK TO HOW PETE REPLIES TO HARRY R FROM POOLE. Don't forget! If you have a problem you want sorted email Pete on the link above, but don't keep me waiting, I'm not getting any younger...
	POMPEY V SCUM MATCH REPORT A rip-roaring 26 minutes of football, inspired by Lomana LuaLua, put Portsmouth on the way to a 4-1 triumph over Southampton and left Harry Redknapp's side bottom of the Premiership and staring at the very real possibility of relegation. It was the first time Redknapp had returned to his former club since becoming Saints manager and inside of two minutes it turned into a nightmare with Antti Niemi conceding a penalty when his rash challenge brought down Lomana LuaLua. Aiyegbeni Yakubu stroked home the spot-kick and it got worse for Redknapp as with just 17 minutes gone Arjen De Zeeuw doubled Pompey's lead with a close-range header from Patrik Berger's free-kick. Henri Camara, who only started due to an injury to Peter Crouch in the warm-up, got Southampton back into the game after getting onto Niemi's long kick and firing past Jamie Ashdown. But the Southampton goalkeeper handed the impetus back to the hosts when he charged from his area and could only chest a bouncing ball into the air. The ball dropped to LuaLua who turned and looped the ball into the empty net. Following his trademark flips the Congo striker limped to the touchline for treatment on a tight muscle. Told to try and continue he ambled back to the pitch and effortlessly finished off another slick Pompey move by curling the ball in off the post to make it 4-1. With the game and the Man of the Match award already sewn up LuaLua, to great acclaim, was substituted before the half-hour mark. Alain Perrin's side spent much of the second half in possession toying with a tepid visiting outfit. Gary O'Neil and Diomansy Kamara controlled the second period but both failed to inflict further misery on a side who now have three games to save themselves from the drop. BUT IT DIDN'T HAPPEN AND SCUM WENT DOWN. AVIT! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA... LET'S ALL LAUGH AT THE SCUMMERS.